Procastination

Absurdingly unproductive in writing despite the dire necessity to organize my thoughts in reviewable format..

I was so lazy the past weeks after a highly productive July for the writing aspect. Now I’m definitely struggling to exercise the capacity to expand ideas or even write code and pages to this book I’m configuring… I’m a bit preoccupied with a ton of other things too… My job as an accountant is requiring me to think extensively when issues arise at the accounts I’m handling but this is not the main cause of my lazyness. I perhaps have instilled the wrong goal in my frame of mind.

I happen to discuss this analogy to a close friend of mine, She is Patrycja and she is from Poland. It is so crazy how the desire to do something big in your life will happen to be too big for you to act properly in achieving such. The book I’m trying to write is a fantastic example of a huge beast engulfing me. Whenever I think of how many words or topics I need to write or the research I need to articulate, the project in itself petrifies me to even start firing up my computer and start write some words. I have stalled in the past three weeks. The big idea of a book suppresses my ability to think clearly and led me to become a classic failure.

And bringing up the mirror of this failure got me to see how I am destroying the very skill of writing while thinking too much of how complex and big writing a book is. Staring too much at the monster forces me to close my abilities and become prey to its monstrosity - metaphorically understating myself…or should say destroying easily the strength bestowed in me whenever I wake up in-sync with my routine.

I am trying to write again extensively each day and this is a great way to approach my decision to do such. Accept that I have been a victim to my own analogy and more over develop a sustainable routine on this project… more on that tomorrow.